Sunday 26 August 2012

I'll Stand By You

He looked at all of the leaflets in his hand. All of them about 'Young Motherhood' and 'Coping With Your Baby'. He flicked through them quickly as he tried to skim read.

"Why hasn't she talked to me 'bout this?" He mumbled to himself as he continued to read but hearing the bathroom door open he quickly shoved them in his back pocket. He needed to talk to her about this. "Babe, food's almost done, then we'll head off again, kay?"

"Sure, I'll just go get dressed." she smiled weakly and shut the bedroom door behind her.

There was dead silence as they finished up eating. Usually Noah's little grumbles could be heard but not today. Not for a few days. Safaree was finished and sat wondering when to bring up the information leaflets he found and decided to just go for it, then it would be out of the way. He reached into his pant pocket and placed the brochures gently in front of Nicki.

"What are these?" After he asked she stopped eating and set her cutlery down before wipeing her mouth and trying to leave the table. "Nicki?! Please....Don't walk away. Remember what I said? You have to let me in!" She knew he was right but that didn't make her want to stop and talk. "Please?"

Turning around again she sat back down opposite him. "Why were you goin' through my stuff?"

"I wasn't. You left your bag in a stupid place and I tripped, when I picked it up all of these fell out." He picked them up and waved them. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." She wouldn't look at him and kept looking down until he carefully grabbed her chin and made her look at him, the tears were clearly visible now.

"Tell me. I'm gonna listen, I won't talk." She looked hesitant but took a deep breath and started talking.

"I feel like everything is just too much, like, I hear Candi and Lauren talkin' 'bout their nights out and all the shit they do. Y'know? All the stuff I should be doin', normal teenager stuff. I have no life. To top it off my grades are really bad and I just..." She shook her head and trailed off.

"And what?"

"I feel so, alone. Like, with Noah. I can't cope Safaree."

"Don't say that. I'm here and you are definitely not alone." He pulled one of her hands into his, the size difference was huge.

"I know you are but...I don't know. I can't explain it." He knew she wasn't going to say anymore than that so he stopped pressing her. How had he not noticed how she was feeling? Perhaps he was just too engrossed in his own feelings, which made him feel rotten even more so after realising he'd left her alone last night. She'd never spent the night alone with Noah before.

"I'm sorry I left you last night." He kissed her hand and pulled her around the table to sit on his lap as he hugged her.

"It's fine, you had a good reason. I was being bitchy Nika. But don't do it again, please?" He kissed her lips to answer her.

"Never." He felt her relax into him as she got quiet, he knew she was thinking about something.

"Faree?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you think Noah's gon' be ok?"

"Sure. Look how strong his Mom is! He's a fighter." They both giggled before she turned serious again.

"I know, but I didn't mean like that." He frowned and moved so that he was looking directly at her face.

"What did you mean then?" She could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I meant, like, with me being his Mom. I'm obviously not fit to be a mother. The doctor practically said that himself and how the fuck did I not even notice the bruises or anything? He deserves better." He wiped the tears from her face. Again.

"How could you even think that? You're amazing, give yourself some credit! You're 17, still in school and have a one year old child. Superwoman much?" That made her laugh which he was glad of.

"You mean that?"

"Of course."

"And you'll always be here for me? For us?"

"Always." He kissed her again to confirm what he was saying and she gladly accepted. "Come on. Noah's waiting." He tapped her butt as she got up and cleared the plates away. He was hoping that was the last obstacle for while, they still had to sort out the whole DNA test and speak to Drake. Which he was honestly dreading.

***

"You ready?" Klara looked at the three of them as they all nodded nervously. "He's had his bandages changed, but it still looks a little scary, but he's gon' be fine." She was looking at Nicki as she said it before opening the doors to his room. He was awake, he still had wires and tubes all around him though. "You can go on in, once you've had a moment we'll call your mother. Okay?" Once again they nodded and went inside, seeing him awake was such a relief. A few hours passed and Carol had been and gone.

"Nic? We should probably be goin' now."

"I wanna stay. I'm not leaving." Safaree sighed.

"Iight, I'll ask if they have any extra pillows and blankets or somethin'" He kissed her head and made his way out. The silence between Nicki and Drake was intense.

"Drake?" It came out as a whisper.

"Yeah?"

"There's somethin' I need to talk to you 'bout, but you have to promise to keep your cool, okay?"

He looked down and re-adjusted his seat before nodding at her. "Kay, I promise. I'll be calm."

"There's a small chance that....Noah, might not be yours." She went extremely quiet as she finished off her sentence.

Rubbing his hands over his face he sighed and breathed out slowly. "How long have you known he might not be mine?" She could tell he was really trying to keep from yelling.

"Only since last night, I swear. Faree told me."

"How could SB have told you? Wouldn't you be the one to know? I mean you're the one fuckin' around!"

"I was drunk. I don't remember shit! He said we slept together and he thought we used protection so he didn't tell me..." She trailed off as she started crying again. She was seriously wondering how many tears she had left.

"So Noah could be SB's or he could be mine?" He laughed dryly. "In fact, he could be the child of any one of those niggas you've fucked!"

"Drake, stop it."

He stood up and started pacing before punching the wall with all of his force, just as Safaree came back in.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" He pulled Drake away from where Nicki and Noah were and pinned him against the wall. Not in an aggressive way, just to restrain him. His knuckles were pretty bloodied up.

"Get the fuck off me!"

"Not until you calm the fuck down."

"Faree please? Just let him go, if somebody comes in here they're gon' get the wrong idea." After hearing her plea he loosened his hold on Drake and stepped away moving over to Nicki to make sure he didn't do anything to her. After all he'd done it once, he could do it again.

Drake was breathing heavily. "I can't believe this! To think, I mighta wasted a year of my damn life thinkin' he was mine!" Nicki tried to move closer to him but Safaree stopped her.

"Drake, he still could be yours, that's what I'm tryna say. We need to do a DNA test." He stopped pacing and moved closer towards them, Safaree was still wary and kept his stance in front of Nicki.

"Well, when can we do it?" He snapped and was evidently agitated as Klara entered the room.

"Am I interrupting something?" She propped her hand on her hip and cut her eyes at Drake.

He answered shortly. "No."

"Good....Well, back to what I came in here for. The doctor said that it's ok for you to hold him Nicki."

"Really?" They all saw the happiness in her eyes as she walked towards little Noah, Klara moved a chair around so Nicki could sit down as she gently picked Noah out of his crib and handed him to her.

"There you go, back in your Mommy's arms." Klara smiled as she watched them, quickly moving out of the way to let Safaree sit next to Nicki as he joined her in cooing over him. Drake stayed where he was but looked over at them catching Klara's eyes as she started speaking.

"Okay. What's going on? I obviously did intrude on something. Someone going to explain?" She looked between them all "Today, would be good."

Drake's voice was low and he sounded just as angry as before. "You wanna ask her Nicki, or shall I?" He was talking about the test.

........

*I'm sooooooooooo sorry It's not much and It's a bit all over the place :// I was writing an essay at the same time -___- Never doing that again lmaooo anyway HOPE this ok for everyone, and I'm sooo sorry to please ask again for 10 comments before I post the next chap? I feel terrible but it, like, lets me know when to update. THANKU so much for the 14 comments on the last chapter!! ^___^ Also @Rayebaby92TM Thanku for saying I made you feel like that!! I hope u do start writing!! I need more fics to read so I'd be there! haha Welp, I'm off to bed!! Night Barbz Muuuuuah! Sorry for typos!*

Thursday 23 August 2012

*NOTE*


Kay, just lettin' everybody know I have another new blog, I know, I know kinda dumb seeing as I have 3 others as well as uni work BUT that's why I did it. I wanna see if anyone actually enjoys it and if they do I will continue, I'm not sure if I will pursue the lil idea I had but I'll see how people find it! I'll link it if anyone wants to check it out :D

Sunday 19 August 2012

The Long Wait

Both Safaree and Nicki turned to look at the doctor.

"We have Noah in a stabilised condition at the moment. However there are a few things we need to go through with you both and a Mr....Graham." He said as he flipped through Noah's notes looking for the father's name. Safaree cringed remembering that he still had to have that talk with Nicki, and soon.

"Well, can we see him?" She sniffed and wiped her tears as she asked hopefully.

"Not right now, he's being prepped for the operating room-" He couldn't finish before Nicki started crying again, Safaree just held on to her tighter, letting her know that he was there. "Why don't we move this conversation to somewhere a little more private and I can fully explain everything, we've already contacted Mr. Graham. He should be here soon." As they walked behind the doctor towards what looked like an office Safaree felt Nicki squeezing his hand making him look down at her worried face.

"It'll be okay. I promise, Noah is strong. Just like his Mom." He touched the side of her cheek as she just nodded tearfully. Once they entered the office and each took a seat the doctor proceeded to inform them about the situation, he kept it simple, not wanting to repeat himself when Drake arrived. As he mentioned that the door opened and a nurse ushered Drake and Mama Carol inside, they took the two seats to the side of the room. Drake looked at Nicki, trying to read her face but she kept her gaze fixed on the doctor.

"Right, now, with you all here I'll just go through what is going to happen." He looked between all of their worried faces. "Noah's aortic valve isn't working as effectively as it should, therefore an insufficient amount of blood is making it through the chambers of his heart. "He paused letting them process what he had just said, they remained silent and Nicki's tears were quite obviously rolling down her face. "We'll have to perform something called an AVR, which is an Aortic Valve Replacement. It is an open heart surgery so we will have to re-open his chest again. If Noah wasn't strong enough for this procedure we honestly wouldn't be performing it but we believe it's definitely the best option, all we need to do now is gain your permission and sort through the paperwork and we can get the surgery underway. Do you consent to you son receiving this treatment Miss Maraj?"

"If you think he'll be strong to recover and it's the absolute best thing to do for him...Then, yes I agree." She and Safaree never released one another from their hand hold as Mama Carol nodded reassuringly at them both.

"And Mr. Graham?" Drake snapped out of his thoughts and nodded at the doctor.

"Anything to help him get better." Nicki smiled small at him.

Once all the paperwork was out of the way the waiting began. They had been told that because Noah was so small, more risks were involved and it might take longer but they were looking at a seven or eight hour surgery. Now it was just Drake Nicki and Safaree. Mama Carol was sad to leave but she had to go get Macaiah. They had been waiting for about three hours already and Nicki was asleep on Safaree, leaving an awkward silence between the two guys.

"I can't believe he's gon' be on medication for the rest of his life." Drake sighed as Safaree looked up from his phone. He was texting Lauren and Candi about what was going on.

"I know. He's just so damn small. It ain't right." Safaree added, he felt kind of bad for Drake. The fact that Noah might not even be his son. He had to tell Nicki as soon as she woke up. He looked down at her asleep with her head resting gently on his arm and wondered how she would react. Another two hours passed, slowly and now Nicki was awake. Here was his chance.

"Nic?" She didn't answer him and just turned to look at him tiredly. "I need to talk to you. It's, really important."

"Faree, what is it?" She looked more concerned than before and shuffled closer to him. Drake felt Safaree's eyes burning him and guessed it was private to he took that as his cue to go and get a drink. As soon as he left Safaree took a deep breath and prepared to tell her.

"It's 'bout Noah. I think...." He went quiet for a minute.

"You think what? Safaree, just tell me?" She cupped the side of his face in her hand and turned his face so that he was looking at her.

"I think you should have a DNA test done." She looked at him blankly.

"What are you talkin' about? I already know Drake is his dad. He's the only person I've ever had sex with." She was right, she and Safaree hadn't even had sex yet, well, apart from that drunken night at his birthday party. She didn't want to rush into anything after Noah was born so they were taking it extremely slow. But Safaree didn't mind one bit, he loved her.

"No, Drake might not be his father." He whispered it so quietly she had to lean in just to catch what he had said. She just laughed.

"Safaree, what the hell is wrong with you? Of course he's Noah's dad."

"Think, Nicki. You honestly can't remember? Anything?" She just shook her head, getting impatient with his weird questions. "The night of my 18th?"

"What about it?"

"You woke up, in my bed with-"

"No clothes on. Yeah I know, it was humiliating! But you told me I didn't sleep with anyone so it's fine. Right?" She waited for a response but he just looked down. "Right Safaree?" He sighed and stood up.

"Shit Ion even know what happened! I woke up with you laying next to me, we were both naked and when I got up I found the used condom on my floor. I thought it was ours so I didn't tell you. You seemed so relieved when I said nothing had happened so I just kept it to myself." He was now pacing with his hands on his head.

"I can't believe this! I can't believe you! Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!" She stood up too and he could tell this was going to escalate into a heated argument.

"Because you were so upset thinkin' that you had it off with some random nigga!" He took a deep breath and grabbed her hands making her sit down with him before he started talking again, more softly. In order for the situation to stay calm he needed to keep his cool too. "I was gonna explain as soon as I showered but when I got back to my room you looked like you were 'bout to start cryin' so I figured we used a condom and it would do no harm to just forget about it. We were both pretty smashed, I can hardly remember either." To his surprise Nicki started talking again but she wasn't yelling.

"I'm angry that you didn't tell me this whole time. You've had so many chances to tell me. But I still don't understand how he could be yours? We used a condom, that's what you said right?"

"I thought we had but a couple weeks ago I went to Rex's and we played some stupid drinking game where we confess shit. He told me he fucked some girl in my room at my party and left the condom in there. It wasn't ours."

"So you've only known 'bout this for two weeks?"

"Yeah." He sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I mean what the fuck was I s'posed to say?"

"I can't stay mad with you forever, but I am upset that you didn't tell me sooner. There are more important things to be worrying 'bout right now, like Noah. We could ask for a DNA test whilst we're here though?" She couldn't look at him and even under all the hurt and anger she was feeling right now she was secretly hoping that Safaree was Noah's real father. Everything would be so much easier. He would probably feel less like an outcast with them and she wouldn't have to send her baby away to stay at his dad's house every so often. In fact she was quite happy about all of this, not that she would let him know that though. He made a mistake not telling her sooner and she would be sure to let him know that. Safaree felt a huge weight lifted off of his shoulders but he knew the next couple of weeks were going to be difficult, already the atmosphere had turned icy and she moved away from him to sit at the other end of the couch in the visitor's lounge. He decided to give her some space.

"I'm 'bouta go get some food, you want something?"

"No, thanks." She didn't look at him and kept her attention focused on her lap. He sighed and made his way out to the hospital canteen.

***

It had been almost eight hours and Nicki was starting to get restless with all the waiting and her level of anger was rising as nobody would tell them anything about Noah.

"Nic, they'll come tell us when they're done, please just sit down? You're makin' me nervous." Before she could snap back at Drake a nurse entered the visitor's lounge.

"Noah's out of the operating room now, he's just being transferred to the Intensive Care Unit. That's where he'll be staying and if everything looks well he'll be discharged in around four days. Would you like to see him?" None of them hesitated to follow the nurse up to the ICU. Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw though. He looked so small especially with the amount of bandaging wrapped around his chest. Nicki brought her hand immediately to her mouth in shock, as always though, Safaree was close by to reassure her. They sat by him for hours until Drake broke the silence.

"As much as a really want to stay, for you and Noah, I have to get goin'. You gon' be okay?" He made sure to let Nicki know that he was planning on being their for both her and Noah, much to Safaree's annoyance.

"It's fine, we've been here for hours. Go." She smiled as he left and turned her gaze back to Noah and all the wires and machines around him.

"Told you he'd be okay."

"You didn't know that for sure though, anything could've happened." The way she said it let him know she was still pissed off.

"Nicki. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? I fucked up, I should've told you and I get that but I don't know what else to say." He got up to leave but her small hand stopped him.

"No, I'm sorry. Please don't go?"

"I wasn't. I was gonna grab a drink." He pointed to the water dispenser by the door making her let go and blush slightly.

"Oh."

"I'm not leaving. Ever. I already told you that." He bent down to kiss her on her head but she moved so that he caught her lips.

"Promise?"

"I promise. On my life." He kissed her again before going to get two cups of water, handing one to her when he took his seat again.

"Did you let Candi and Lauren know?"

"Yeah, I texted 'em when you were out-cold." He laughed at her as she forced her mouth into a pout.

"Shut up! I was tired!" She smiled and quickly turned serious again. "I missed you last night."

"I missed you too....And I'm sorry, 'bout what I said. I was way outta line."

"No, I understand I am - or should I say was, asking a lot of you. Raising somebody else's kid, it's gotta be hard. But now there's the possibility he could be yours." She moved to sit on his knee and ran her hand over his cheek.

"When do you wanna ask for the DNA test?"

"As soon as I've spoken to Drake about everything, Ion wanna do any of this behind his back. We tell him and my Mom first. Then we'll figure everything else out." He was about to respond when the doctor walked in. They both turned to look at him expectantly.

"So, as you can see everything went well. Noah should be discharged in the next four or five days. We just have some more tests to run before we let you guys settle for the night."

"What kind of tests?" Nicki stood up as she asked.

"We just want to make sure that the replacement valve is working effectively. Also we'll send a nurse up to talk to you about his post-operative care." Without saying anything else he smiled at them both and left them alone. Their small talk was soon interrupted by a nurse walking through the door to Noah's private room.

"Onika?" Nicki turned at the use of her real name before gasping.

"Klara? You're his nurse?" She immediately hugged her before moving to let Safaree greet her too.

"Well I wasn't supposed to be but the other nurse was called in for an OR emergency. I read through his notes on the way up, he's a strong little guy huh?" She stood to the side of him and started sorting out some wires and other things as they both took their seats again. Klara soon grabbed a chair and joined them. "So, lets get you two all caught up on what needs to be done." She flicked through some papers and found the page she needed. "Okay, as you've probably been told Noah is going to need medication for the rest of his life?" They both nodded. "It's basically an anti-coagulent which thins the blood to prevent clotting, which is essential with his new valve. The only down side is that if he were to ever have an extremely bad fall or whatever, it'll be hard to control the bleeding, you understand?" They both nodded solemnly again. "Also because it was open-heart surgery he will have scarring on his chest area, the surgeon tried to keep it as small as possible but it's about eight inches long and you'll need to return soon to get the stitches or staples removed." She smiled as she finished up what she was saying, they both looked overwhelmed. "Everything will be fine, and you know you can always call me if you need to?"

"Thank you." Nicki smiled weakly and resumed watching her baby sleeping.


"Okay, well I'll finish up the rest of these tests and leave you to it."

The next day they both woke up groggily after sleeping in the hospital chairs, after gulping down some coffee they were sat waiting for Mama Carol and Drake to arrive. They were finding out whether or not Noah's new valve was working properly. He was still in an induced sleep because they didn't want him moving around and dislodging any vital equipment during the night. To think he was only one year old and all of this was happening was so scary to Nicki.

"Good morning." They knew that voice anywhere, it was Carol peeping through the door. "How is my little grandbaby?"

"He's doing good, well that's what they're saying. We're finding out today, y'know, if it's actually worked." She pulled away from hugging her Mom and sat back on Safaree's lap so that her mother had somewhere to sit. He watched her roll her eyes as Drake walked in, with Caitlin in tow.

"Ugh, the fuck is she doin' here?" She mumbled in Safaree's ear as they walked in further.

"I hope you don't mind, Caitlin came along. She was worried 'bout Noah." Nicki just listened to Drake's explanation and ignored her presence whilst continuing to admire her son.

"Oh wow, everybody is here." Klara chirped as she came in rubbing sanitizer into her palms. "Looks like little Noah's gon' make a full recovery. Everything worked out well and the valve is functioning fine. He's a little fighter this one! We'll wake him up soon, the doctor has to assess him first and he should be up any min-" Just as she was about to finish her sentence the doctor walked in sporting a very serious facial expression.

"Well, as the nurse has already told you, Noah's operation was a success. However some other things cropped up when we checked his x-rays. Could I please speak to his primary caregivers, alone?" A worried Nicki, Safaree and Drake all remained seated whilst Carol and Caitlin left.

"Is something wrong?" Her voice was cracking and she was quite obviously on the verge of tears as she asked, Safaree tightened his grip on her and she rubbed his hand as a gesture to say 'thank you'.

"Noah has a number of small fractures, all situated around the ribcage. Do you have any idea how that might have happened? Or maybe who or what could have caused it?" Nicki immediately got defensive, knowing he was directing the question at her.

"What are tryin' to imply? That I'd purposely hurt my own child?"

"Ms. Maraj, we're just trying to get to the bottom of this." He paused for a second. "So you can honestly say you've never become frustrated with him? Maybe he wouldn't stop crying, did you ever get upset with that? Even shake him, to try and make him be quiet?" Nobody could believe what they were hearing.

"Nicki would never do that!" The person that came from shocked her, she thought Safaree would be the one to jump to her defence. But it was Drake.

"Please, just remain calm Mr. Graham. Unfortunately the bruising Noah has sustained is consistent with that of a pair of hands and I'm left with no choice but to call social services." Klara's head turned quickly in the doctor's direction.

"Excuse me, doctor, can I please have a word? Outside?" As soon as they were on the other side of the door klara let rip.

"You don't even know these kids!" She practically yelled but he quickly dismissed her.

"Nurse Michaels, I see this all the time. She's a young mother, still a child herself and she's struggling to cope. I admit that it's sad this happens but actions have consequences, what can I say? Maybe they should have attended their sex ed classes instead of jumping in to bed at the age of 15?" He shrugged whilst Klara's eyes widened as she scoffed at what he said.

"Well I know them and I'm the nurse who delivered Noah too, I've never seen a girl as brave as Onika and She would never do anything to harm that child. None of them would. So I suggest, before you start making accusations like that, you really look into matters first! Our job is to save lives and aid the sick. We don't judge patients, or relatives. Ever." He looked down knowing she was right.

"Tell the others they can go back into the room, I'll send a counsellor up and they can talk it out. It could be down to people caring for him outside of his home, Grandparents, friends or even babysitters. Just tell them to think over everything. If nothing adds up, I'll have to call in a social worker. I'll have no choice." He walked off angrily as Klara let Caitlin and Carol back in, explaining to them everything the doctor said.

"I just don't see who else could have done this. Maybe he's right, maybe I'm just not cut out for this." The tears came again as Safaree rubbed her back soothingly.

"Don't you dare say that! You have any idea how lucky Noah is to have you as his mother?" She started crying even more at his sweet words as everyone else chimed in, all except Caitlin.

"Who else takes care of him?" Drake asked cautiously as he took a seat.

"Nobody. Just us, Mom and you. I mean Lauren and Candi sometimes but not very often and I'm always there with them. They're really gentle with him. Everybody is." She carried on sniffling as Safaree kept on calming her.

"I'm not." They all snapped their heads around to look at a guilty looking Caitlin, she was staring intently at the floor.

"Excuse me?!" Safaree kept hold of Nicki's arms to stop her from getting to her feet, he could feel the anger in the way she spoke.

"I said I'm not." Drake looked at her with disgust as he stood and walked over to her.

"What did you do to him?" His voice was low and gravelly making her shift uncomfortably.

"Ugh, can't you see?! he ruined everything! You spent all day preparing us an amazing meal and everything was great until the little brat started screaming! He just wouldn't stop, so I shook him a little. It wasn't even that hard! And I only did it two or three times at the most! Baby, I promise." She tried to rest her hands on his chest but he pushed them away. Safaree could see Nicki wanted to throttle her there and then but that wouldn't have looked good so he held her in place on his knee. Klara decided to stand next to Mama Carol by Noah's crib, she thought she should step in but she had a feeling Drake wouldn't do anything stupid so she left them to it.

"Get out." She tried again to touch him but he slapped her hands away. "GET OUT!" He didn't need say anything else as she stared each and every one of them down and left after spewing out a number of insults directed at Nicki and Drake.

"Nicki, I am so sorry. I had no idea, I swear." He was looking at her remorsefully before she sighed and looked at him.

"It's fine, but I told you she was a hoe." She felt like she couldn't be angry at him, especially with the talk that they had to have later. The pangs of guilt were setting in and Safaree could tell.

"Stop worrying, we don't even know yet." Only she heard because he whispered and everyone else had moved to stand around Noah's little incubated crib.

"Nicki, I'll let the doctor know what happened but a social worker is still going to want to talk to you and assess your living conditions." She could tell Nicki was exhausted, the next few days were going to be long and hard for all of them. "I'll tell you what, why don't you all go home, have some rest and something to eat and then as soon as you come back we'll wake him up?" The smiles all around the room told her that was a good idea.

As soon as they got home Nicki went to shower whilst Safaree decided to cook her favourite. Boneless chicken stew. Although he didn't make it as good as Nicki, he still went through with it. Almost having a near accident himself after tripping over Nicki's book bag. He picked it up and groaned as everything fell out, but what he found was not what he was expecting...

*Omg Im so freaking tired!! I was out late last night so I can't believe I actually managed to do this! Sorry it's quite long-ish for me, and it's very hospitally! I actually learnt all of that AVR stuff from watching fictional hospital shows! Also I REALLY hate to do this but Imma have to ask for a certain number of comments on this one too! I need an indication as to when or if I post again, so I will politely ask for maybe 10 comments before I post again :/ I really like writing these but I need to do Uni work to so I'll have to balance it out :)) Thanku for all of the comments on 'Tough Times' I really appreciate it! Sorry for any typos!! Muuuah*





Friday 10 August 2012

*Oh! I almost forgot! Here is Noah with his liddle hat ^_^*

Usually I refrain from using images because sometimes when people read they automatically picture them in their heads, so sometimes I think posting pictures might ruin it for some people. HOWEVER I think this little kid is just so damn cute I HAD to include him ^_^

Noah:


Thanks for all of the comments on "Tough Times" I should hopefully be posting again soon :)) I might do another chapter for HIA later though ^_^ Muuah!

Thursday 9 August 2012

Tough Times

*Holy shitbawls! Like seriously was NOT expecting that many comments!! Thanku guys! ^__^ Sorry it has been a while since I posted on this one :/ Also before I start I dunno how it school works in America and I have been away from England so long I CAN'T even remember so Imma just have to do the Australian way XD So Nicki is 17, if I worked that out right, she got a bun in the oven at 15 turned 16 before she had Noah...a year on she should be 17 right? Well idc, she's 17! So that would mean she would still be in shcool? Welp, she is so I shall continue! Hope it's ok for everyone.*

*** Skipping Back To Nicki (her waking at like 6am, no sleep w/Noah being all squawky ***

It was 6am and being a 17 year old sleeping-in was essential but hearing the baby monitor on the side of her bed she knew she couldn't ignore it. Safaree still wasn't home, she figured he had either gone to Rex's or his Mom's house but she was still worried about him, no matter how bad their argument was. Slowly lifting the covers off of herself she shivered feeling the cold hit her and made her way out of her room. When she made it to Noah's room she was wrapping her robe around herself extra tight to keep warm and bent down slowly to pick him out of his crib. As soon as she had hold of him he stopped fussing.

"Oh? So you gon' be quiet now?" She shook her head and made her way downstairs to the kitchen with him on her hip. Usually she would be greeted with Safaree watching TV before he headed out to work, but it was just silence today. She pulled Noah's high-chair out and sat him in it whilst she sorted out their breakfast. Being that Nicki was still 17 she was still studying and was supposed to be at school in two hours however Mama Carol had called to say she had an appointment and couldn't look after Noah today so Safaree was taking the day off to look after him. She didn't really see that happening anymore, especially after the last text he sent her last night. She sighed thinking about it, how come she had never realised how he was feeling? She thought Safaree was fine with the whole 'raising another man's child' but thinking about it for a while she understood how much she was asking of him and felt terrible. Hearing the microwave ding she opened the door and set Noah's milk on the side to cool, he only had two bottles a day now. One in the morning and one before bed.

After breakfast Nicki decided to focus on getting Noah bathed and dressed before getting herself ready and ringing around asking for someone to babysit. She called everyone she knew and not one of them were free, looking at her watch impatiently she quickly threw Noah's essentials into her book bag after putting his coat and hat on and then headed out of the door. She had no choice but to take him with her and if she got in trouble she would just have to deal with it, after all she was basically just running in to hand up an assignment so it should have been ok.

***

"Come on!! I don't have fucking time for this!" Safaree screamed whilst slamming his hands on the steering wheel. He was stuck in peak hour traffic trying to make it home in time before Nicki left for school. Looking at his watch again he knew he had missed her. He couldn't understand why the lanes weren't moving at all, hearing other drivers yelling he opened his window and from what he heard there had been a crash, they were just checking everyone was ok and clearing up the mess. "Shit man!" He continued to tap his fingers and cuss randomly before trying to ring Nicki, he thought it would be pretty pointless anyway he knew she wouldn't answer after what he said to her last night. He was right, it went straight to voicemail.

Almost an hour later he finally made it home to an empty house. No Noah or Nicki in sight so he took this time to figure out what he was going to say when she got home. As he sat silently for a moment he ran through all of the things he could say, how he could say it but the one thing he couldn't guess was how Nicki was going to react.

***

Walking down the hallway with Noah balanced on her hip received more stares than she had anticipated, mainly from younger students. They had heard that this 'Onika' girl had gone and got herself knocked up but they never believed it, until they saw her. If she knew it was going to be this bad she would have just skipped school if it wasn't for that one particular assignment that was due to be handed in, with the deadline being today she chose not to risk it. Finally escaping the stares and whispers of fellow students she turned down the hallway to the teacher's office.

"Kay. So I'll just knock, go in, hand the paper up and leave. Simple as that Onika." She rummaged around in her bag whilst Noah played with the ends of her hair before being distracted by her earring. "Boy, would you stop. Mommy is tryna find som......Ah found it!" She whipped it out and proceeded to knock on the door.

"Oh, Ms. Maraj, what can I..um, help you with?" Mr Tomlinson was greatly distracted by Noah's grumpy grunts causing Nicki to look down before answering.

"Sorry Sir. I didn't have anyone to take care of him...Anyway I just came to hand this up." She held the paper out for him.

"Thank you, but before you go I need to have a word. You want to step inside?" He wasn't asking and moved aside to let her in. Rolling her eyes with attitude she went in and sat down sitting Noah comfortably on her lap so he could rest in her arms, she figured he was tired hence his grumpy behaviour.

"Your grades are slipping Onika...Tremendously. Whats going on?" He looked at her pitifully.

"I thought that woulda been quite obvious, Sir." He raised his eyebrows at her dry answer.

"Have you ever considered maybe, seeking the help of a counsellor? I mean to be doing all of this and studying at the same time, it's a lot to take on for a 17 year old"

"No." There was silence for a while after she answered. "Can I please leave? If you hadn't noticed I have a lot on my plate right now and listening to this isn't helping. At all." Her body language and the vibe she was sending out made Noah even more restless and he began to cry as she stood up, grabbing her bag. She didn't even wait to hear what he had to say and walked speedily out of the door and back down the hallways, thankfully they were clear now as classes were in session. Noah had gotten quieter as she hit the sidewalk and headed to her car. (I don't know what the driving age in America is! It's 16 here in Australia.) Opening the door to his car-seat she went to put him in and noticed he was already asleep, but there was something different, he felt really limp.

"Noah? Baby wake up." She gave him the gentlest little shake to try and wake him. Nothing. She tried again and again but he wouldn't respond. Remembering the information she was given about his condition she checked his breathing and heart rate, both were extremely shallow and she started to panic. Quickly strapping him in she jumped in the car and went straight to the hospital, which was only minutes away. Parking extremely out of the lines she darted around to his his car seat and secured his lifeless little body in her arms and ran for the hospital entrance.

***

Sitting deep in thought he still hadn't come up with any ideas about how to explain this to Nicki. He was finally just thinking maybe he should just blurt it out and then it's done. As he was about to to turn the TV on his phone started ringing in his pocket. It was Mama Carol.

"Hey Mama Carol. How are things?"

"Safaree you need to get down to Clearview hospital. Now." She sounded out of breath and all the noise around her made her voice hard to hear.

"Why? What's going on? Are you hurt?" He stood up trying to throw his shoes on thinking that something terrible had happened to her.

"No...It's not me...It's Noah..." She trailed off and he could tell she was crying, without hesitating he hung up and bolted out of the door.

***

"Ma'am, please? We need you to calm down." One of the nurses was trying to console a hysterical Nicki as they sat waiting to hear what was wrong. It was no use though.

"Nika, honey, they are trying their best in there. We just have to hope and pray for now." She wrapped her arms around her daughter's trembling body as she continued to cry.

"How c-could I have not n-noticed anything was wrong? I'm his m-mother!"

"Shhh. Safaree will be here soon, kay?" She smoothed her hand over Nicki's face trying to remove some of the tears but it didn't matter because they just kapt falling anyway.

"What? You called him?"

"Of course I called him! He would want to be here for you both!" Nicki just scoffed tearfully at what her mother said.

"He doesn't give two sh- He doesn't care." She pulled gently out of her mother's grasp and sat upright.

"Now I know that is not true Onika! All that boy does for you two! He loves the pair of you, don't ever question that." She shook her head at her daughter's behaviour and they were silent again until an out of breath Safaree ran over to them.

"What's happening? Do you know anything yet?" He was aiming his breathless questions at Nicki but she wouldn't acknowledge him and let Mama Carol do the talking.

"We haven't bee told anything yet...They're seeing to him now." She looked back up at him only to realise he watching Nicki fiddle with her nails. "I think I might go get a drink, do either of you two need anything?" Safaree shook his head politely and took her seat after she left.

"Nic, talk to me. What happened?"

"Don't come in here acting like you actually give a fuck!" He didn't answer and looked down at his lap. "Why'd you even bother coming? If I remember correctly he ain't your kid, right?" No matter what he tried to say she would always be yelling over him. He never got chance to speak his mind and he was running out of patience. As she continued to shout and bark questions at him, he flipped and grabbed her forearm before dragging her into the stairwell. There was nobody around to witness his angry outburst.

"Safaree let go! You're hurting me!" She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he pushed her up against the wall.

"STOP YELLING! And Let. Me. Talk." He breathed heavily between each word, but it had the effect he wanted as she was quickly silenced. "I'm sick of you yellin' at me like I'm nothin' Onika! Like I'm a useless piece of shit! I'm done with it!" He released her arm forcefully shoving her a little. "I don't wanna hurt you, but don't you see what you're doing? You're pushing me away." His voice was a lot softer now, but her body carried on shaking uncontrollably. She was looking down and he could see the tears dripping off her face.

"I'm sorry." He moved closer to her but she flinched away, he hated seeing her face frozen with fear because of him.

"I'm sorry too, come here." He tried once more and this time she collapsed into his arms sobbing as he rubbed her back. "I ain't mean to scare you babe. Just understand that I love you and I'm not going anywhere. But you have to let me in. Stop pushing me away." he felt her head nod against his chest as her cries started to subdue slowly, she was still shaky though.

"I never knew thas how you were feelin'."

"I suppose we're both to blame. I could have let you know, but you never seemed like you cared."

"Faree I love you and of course I care! It's just been so fuckin' hard with Noah and Drake and school work. I don't know if I can do anymore." She looked away tearfully and he pulled her even closer to him.

"We'll sort this out bae, don't worry." He kissed the top of her head before they were politely interrupted by the doctor.

"Ms Maraj?" ......

*Uggghhh I was trying to get into this all damn day!! I just COULD NOT THINK and sorry it's a little short! But anyways thanks for all the comments on the last chapter!!! :o haha I don't think I'll be able to top that ever again so I think it's safe to say that chapter was a record breaker for me!! ^__^ Well, hope this was alright for you guys ://Sorry for any typos/mistakes! Niight*

Thursday 2 August 2012

*NOTE*

This has nothing to do with Forever Young but I had to let y'all know somehow, w/out tweeting the link!! I have changed my oneshot blog into an actual fic called 'Can Anybody Hear Me?' on twitter I will refer to it as CAHM.
Here is the link, I should be updating CAHM today as well as HIA ^___^
http://cananybodyhearmeonikafaree.blogspot.com.au 
Thank you SOOOO much for the comments I got on HIA last night!! I can't believe how quickly I got to 10! ^__^ Thanku guys, muuah!!